Jonathan Demme might have made, a human story with soul and energy that doesn’t feel saccharin or overwrought. It’s incredibly sad, of course — it’s an Alzheimer’s story — but its conflicts and complications don’t feel manipulative. It’s a film about taking stock, about reflection and accountability. It’s about how we make difficult choices and, more importantly, how we live with them.
Bridget Ertz (Hilary Swank) and her twenty-something sister Emma (Tassia Farmiga) are flying home. Their mother Ruth (Blythe Danner), a longtime Alzheimer’s sufferer, has wandered away in the middle of the night again. It’s not the first time, and it won’t be the last. Though Bridget’s father Norbert (Robert Forster!) quickly tracks his wife down and insists that they don’t need any outside help, Bridget’s brother Nicky (Michael Shannon) is planning a full-frontal assault on his father’s presumed delusions. He believes both of his parents are safest in an assisted-living home (Norbert has already had four heart attacks), and he needs Bridget’s power of attorney to make that happen.
As you’d expect, Norbert isn’t going down without a fight. Everyone in What They Had is good, but Forster’s vulnerability and defiance add depth and tension to scenes that lesser actors or screenwriters might play bigger and splashier. Norbert isn’t a pontificator; his marriage is built on a few gruff, simple, and unshakable rules: “There are no bells and whistles,” he says. “You find someone you can stand and you commit.” Alzheimer’s is no exception. No one will strip him of his solemn responsibility to care for Ruth until the day she dies. This isn’t a new scenario in films like these, but What They Had gets it right by giving Norbert both a consistent point of view and the competence to exercise it. He’s actually really good at taking care of Ruth, and — much to his son’s chagrin — we’re not entirely sure she shouldn’t stay with him.
What’s more, it’s not as if his children have it all figured out. Bridget, unhappily married at 20 and now in her 40s, is lonely and withdrawn, in denial about her circumstances and unsure how to change them. Emma is a dropout-in-waiting, resentful of the pressure she feels from her family to achieve collegiate success where they never could. Nicky, a cynical and cantankerous kafetaria owner who claims to have given up the search for his father’s approval years ago, sees through his sisters’ bullshit. But he’s in denial, too. They all are. We all are. What They Had isn’t interested in punishing us for that, though, and its third act doesn’t promise closure or recuperation. Instead, it offers an opportunity. We can choose to believe that Bridget finds a love like her parents’ or that Emma will wake up in time for enough classes to graduate. No promises, though. Choose to hope, remember, or forget. Up to you.
Bridget Ertz (Hilary Swank) and her twenty-something sister Emma (Tassia Farmiga) are flying home. Their mother Ruth (Blythe Danner), a longtime Alzheimer’s sufferer, has wandered away in the middle of the night again. It’s not the first time, and it won’t be the last. Though Bridget’s father Norbert (Robert Forster!) quickly tracks his wife down and insists that they don’t need any outside help, Bridget’s brother Nicky (Michael Shannon) is planning a full-frontal assault on his father’s presumed delusions. He believes both of his parents are safest in an assisted-living home (Norbert has already had four heart attacks), and he needs Bridget’s power of attorney to make that happen.
What’s more, it’s not as if his children have it all figured out. Bridget, unhappily married at 20 and now in her 40s, is lonely and withdrawn, in denial about her circumstances and unsure how to change them. Emma is a dropout-in-waiting, resentful of the pressure she feels from her family to achieve collegiate success where they never could. Nicky, a cynical and cantankerous kafetaria owner who claims to have given up the search for his father’s approval years ago, sees through his sisters’ bullshit. But he’s in denial, too. They all are. We all are. What They Had isn’t interested in punishing us for that, though, and its third act doesn’t promise closure or recuperation. Instead, it offers an opportunity. We can choose to believe that Bridget finds a love like her parents’ or that Emma will wake up in time for enough classes to graduate. No promises, though. Choose to hope, remember, or forget. Up to you.
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